| sometimes, the best things in life aren't always the easiest. loving someone has got to be the hardest thing for anyone to do. breaking up with them, has got to be the second hardest thing to do.
when chris and i broke up, i thought that it was what i wanted. i honestly thought that i didn't love him anymore, and that it was the best decision that i could make. when i started dating chad, i thought that was what i wanted. i thought that he was every thing that i've dreamt of for the last 22 years of my life.
then reality hit me. friday night, i saw chris at the fair with his new girlfriend and it ripped my heart out. not only because hes with someone, but because he didn't even see me. i mean, i talked to him, but its like i wasn't there. he didn't acknowledge my feelings, nothing. its like he was a stranger. i've known chris for 6 years now... and hes never seemed to be more of a stranger to me, then what he was friday night. and that killed me.
i didn't realize just how much i love him, until friday night. i didn't realize how much i miss him, until he stopped talking to me.
he was always my best friend. the one person that i could go to with anything and trust with the world, and now, without him, i feel so lost and confused. sitting here, at this computer, in this apartment alone has got to be the hardest thing that i've had to do in quite some time. all that i want is for my husband to come home. i can't throw away 5 years over a slight disagreement... hes the love of my life. no one ever can or will replace that. |
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| WOOOO!!!! i got my final grades back from school!! i passed with 81%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow this is amazing! i seriusly thought that i was going to FLUNK!!! i'm so excited!! theres gonna be some partying tonight!!!! |
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| all i can say is i hate people, i hate drama, and i'm just not talkin anymore. |
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| went to court today, got full custody of Logan, now seeing a new guy (chad) hes great. things are great. |
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| well, that to say... chris is moving out today. everything piled up and i just couldn't take anymore. so i kicked him out. i can't deal with his drama. hes constantly bitching about my friends, talking shit about anyone and everyone and its too much. it really is. on the plus side, i met someone. hes pretty awesome. i like him lots. but i'm waitin till the drama settles down here with chris before i get myself involved with someone else. but i'm anticipating to see where things can go! other then that things are normal. school is good, work is work, and yea. things are good. |
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